Today I am reflecting on the 3rd anniversary of Eden’s birth. We celebrated with some family and friends yesterday and then had a quiet family celebration today. This past year Eden has shown tremendous growth in her ability to communicate verbally and play with us and also lately play and work things out with her neighbourhood friends. She has also surprised us the last few months in her physical abilities as she explores new things on the playground and new ways to play and climb. She’s always been so cautious and is just now taking some risks. She continues to be, as we often hear, “such a good girl”. She is very easy going, a good listener, and a gentle soul. Here are some pictures of her and Harper.
Click here to see a video of Eden on her Balance Bike
As I’m reflecting on that momentous and empowering day as I journeyed through labour and delivery with her, I searched the vanderkwaak.com archives to re-read her birth story… only to find out that I didn’t post it! I knew I had written it down so I scoured the computer and found it. Here’s a shortened version for those who are interested.
May 3 2007 – the big day!
I woke up and felt that I would be seeing my baby within 24 hours – just a hunch. I went into work for the last time. And I knew it was the last time. I had wanted to work right up until the due date, which was the next day. Over lunch that day I was walking from the bus to the midwives office and I felt a painful Braxton Hicks contraction, probably due to the heat and the exercise. I made it to the office and met Reuben there. At the midwife appt we talked about checking how dilated I was but followed the midwife’s advice and decided against it as it as the dilation says nothing about when the baby will be born.
Back at work I continued to pack up my office in the afternoon and say my good-byes to my co-workers. At around 3:00, I was talking to a co-worker and told her I was having some Braxton Hicks all day. She told me I should keep track of the timing as labour might be impending. I took a scrap of paper and wrote down the times I was feeling the Braxton Hicks. At first there was no pattern. Then at 4:20 I had one, at 4:30 I had one, at 4:40 I had one (as I said my final goodbye to my friends). I gave Reuben a call. I told him I thought this was probably it and that he should pack up and pick me when he could. 4:50, 5:00, 5:10… Reuben comes and picks me up and I’ve been in very mild labour for almost an hour. We drive home, filled with excitement. The real work of labour has not began yet but we are so thrilled to meet the baby.
Labour at Home
When we got home, we finished packing the labour bag with the last minute items. We continued to write down the contraction times. I sat by the TV and watched Seinfeld while Reuben cleaned the house. Around 6:30, contractions were painful enough to need Reuben’s help to breathe through them. They were coming about 6 minutes apart now. At 7:00, the contractions started coming every 5 minutes and were painful. At 8:15 we gave the midwife a call. She spoke to me on the phone while I was having a contraction and told us we weren’t ready to go to the hospital yet. We wanted to continue to labour at home.
At this time, I needed a change of scenery. We went downstairs to the living room and with each contraction, I would breathe deeply and hold the mantel while Reuben again put pressure on my hips. Each contraction was getting longer and stronger. Reuben would time the contraction and let me know when it was half way over. As a coping mechanism, while I was breathing, I would close my eyes and envision a colour. I would imagine that that colour was all I could see… baby blue, fusia, lime green, sunny yellow. Each contraction was a different colour.
At around 9:00 I suddenly felt nauseous. Without much warning, I soon threw up all over the floor. At the same time, I felt a sudden warm feeling between my legs – I looked down and my water had broken! We called the midwife and then headed to the car. We got to the hospital around 9:30pm. I had a contraction as soon as I got out the car and another on the short walk to the hospital door and another one at reception. The contractions were now 1-2 minutes apart. I couldn’t talk to the receptionist.
At the Hospital – Transition Begins
Genevieve, our midwife, arrived at the hospital the same time we did and took me straight to our room. Reuben was the best support person ever. I couldn’t speak in full sentences as the contraction was now just one long contraction with no relief. I would just say, “Drink” and he would get me a drink. Genevieve had me lie down on the bed so she could check how dilated I was. It was agonizing to lie down so she made it quick. I was 8 cm. It was about 9:45 at this time.
For the next 45 minutes, I had one non-stop contraction. I continued envisioning colours before my eyes – they bled one into the next. Hot pink, navy blue, hunter green, pastel yellow. I continued to stand by the bedside and Reuben continued to put pressure on my lower back and hips. I’m sure his hands and arms were sore. At times, in my head, I would think, “I can’t do this, I need some medication, this is SO PAINFUL!!!”. I would sometimes say outloud, “I can’t do this!”. Both Reuben and Genevieve were so encouraging. Assuring me that I WAS doing it. That it wouldn’t be much longer. That I was doing GREAT! At times, I was able to think positively, knowing that I was doing the very best for my baby. At other times, all I could think about were the colours before my eyes. It was the most intense pain ever. At 10:30, Genevieve asked again to check me. The thought of lying down on a bed again did not appeal to me at all as this contraction just never ended (this last 45 minutes is known as transition). I was quickly helped on the bed and Genevieve realized that I was fully dilated and could push! Genevive called Andrea , our second midwife, to come to the hospital. I couldn’t believe this – just 6 hours ago, my labour had started. I knew this was going fast and was just getting more and more excited to meet my baby.
PUSH!!!
The pushing part was what I was most dreading. I thought the contraction was painful, what was pushing going to be like? Then there became a period of about a minute where I didn’t have a contraction. A bit of breathing time. Genevieve instructed me that when the next contraction hit, I was to take a deep breath and hold it. I was to focus all my mental energy on pushing the baby out for the count of 10.
The contraction hit. I held my breath. I pushed. And the pain went away. I pushed through the contraction and while pushing, I wasn’t in pain anymore! I was ecstatic! The contractions had prepared my body for the baby to be birthed. And now I was using the power of the contraction while pushing and my actions and the contraction were working together.
I pushed for 20 minutes. Andrea arrived. The midwives were continually checking the baby’s heartrate. Labour is difficult for the mother but also a traumatic experience for the baby. The heartrate was not recovering as fast as the midwives wanted it to. And the top of the baby’s head would start showing and then recede. They knew that something was not as it should be but didn’t communicate that to me or Reuben. They just told us they were going to call the on-call OBGYN to take a look. After pushing for 30 minutes, the OB named Susan came in. She felt Eden’s head and positioning. Susan asked me to push like I had never pushed before. It was later that I found out that she needed to see how well I could push to determine whether or not an emergency C-section was needed. Susan explained to me what was going on. She said the baby’s positioning was not ideal and that a larger opening was needed. After an episiotomy I took a few deep breathes. I was so excited to meet this little one. It was as if time stood still and I looked around me. Reuben was to my right and Andrea to my left. Genevieve and Susan stood at the foot of the bed. Several nurses and the emergency baby crew (NICU) stood by the edge of the room, waiting to see if baby needed emergency care.
It’s a Girl!
The next contraction started. And I pushed. Hard. And out onto the bed Eden slid. I don’t even remember hearing her cry. It was like my sense of sight was the only one working. My whole body was shaking from the hours and strain of labour and I just saw my new baby. A slimy little girl. I said, “I want to hold her, I want to hold her!” Susan held Eden in a blanket and looked me squarely in the eye and said, “Most parents of brow babies think their babies are deformed but the swelling and bruising will go down”. They unwrapped Eden and placed her on my chest and placed a warm towel over us. And Reuben and I just stared. Eden was the most beautiful baby we had ever seen. We didn’t even notice the swelling or bruising. She was calm and alert. The lights were dim and all was quiet in the room. It was just our little family, united for the first time outside the womb. It was 11:31pm on May 3, 2007 – ½ an hour before my due date. Dr. Susan was going up and down the halls exclaiming what a superwoman I had been and that that was the first brow baby she had delivered naturally. You see, usually babies come out with the smallest part of their head first and their chin down to their chest. But I guess this baby was eager to see the world and had her forehead and eyes coming first (also the reason I had so much back labour). When babies come out brow first, they need about 14 cm of an opening, instead of the usual 10 cm – that’s why I had the 3rd degree tearing/episiotomy that would take 3 ½ months to heal. You see, labour isn’t the most difficult pain of having a baby. The healing afterwards is the difficult part. Eden was worth every stitch, every painkiller, every sitz bath, every painful step I had to take… and more.
May 3, 2007 will always be engraved in my memory. When I think of that day tears come to my eyes. That moment of holding Eden skin to skin for the first time, as a tiny little 8 lb 14 oz baby cannot be compared to anything else in this world. It was simply awesome and amazing.
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