Harper’s birth story

From the start of my pregnancy, I have had a very realistic idea of a pregnancy’s length. I knew the estimated due date of Oct 26 was only an estimated date. Babies are full term at 37 weeks and can be perfectly fine in the womb until 42 weeks. Eden was born right on time but Harper’s due date soon came and went. There were at least 3 major false labour scenerio’s that played out before the actual labour day and these were agonizing – not physically, but mentally. I was emotionally ready to hold a new baby again and to go through labour again but the false labour never progressed. It was nice to hear from many other women that their subsequent pregnancies had the same false labours. Eden’s labour was so textbook in the way it started – gradual and progressive. Every time I started feeling those non-painful contractsions, I would think labour started and then be disappointed to find out it didn’t. We were planning on a home birth so every time false labour happened, we would set up the bed properly and get everything ready, only to have to dismantle it quite soon after. After going through labour once, you imagine that you could never mistake false labour for real labour but it’s very common to have false labour for subsequent pregnancies. And looking back, I don’t think you can call it false labour – it’s probably more like early labour happening quite a bit earlier than the full active labour. The 40th week of my pregnancy with Harper was probably all pre/early labour. I would get those non-painful contractions every time I walked so I started walking a lot hoping to bring on full labour.

Slowly, my body started showing signs that labour was approaching. II was convinced it was going to be November 1 but after a long false labour and again no progression, I went to bed early that evening. I woke up at 6:00am on November 2 having had a good long night’s sleep (still interrupted however with at least 6 trips to the bathroom). I was awake though so I went on the computer and did some email. I sent an email to Reuben’s family at about 6:30 stating that baby hadn’t arrived yet and that I had an appt that morning with the midwife at 11am for a stretch and sweep to see if we could get things going.

At 7:00am, Eden was awake and resting with Reuben on our bed and I was finishing up my email when I felt yet another Braxton Hick’s contraction, or so I thought. Suddenly it turned quite painful. I looked at the clock on the computer – 7:01. I sat there for a few minutes, continuing to busy myself. Another contraction at 7:04, this one stronger. I waited again – 7:07, still stronger. Reuben’s alarm clock went off again and Eden started asking about breakfast. Reuben shuffled out of bed. I said – “Are you going to take a shower? I don’t know if you should go right now. I think I’m in labour. The real deal. This is getting painful quite quickly and I don’t know how good of a mother I can be right now for Eden”. “I’ll be quick”, he said.

While he was in the shower, I continued to time the contractions using a application on the iPod touch. The contractions continued to be around 3-4 minutes apart, 70 seconds long and continued to get more intense. Reuben was still in the shower when I called my mom. “This is it”, I said. She said she’d get there as soon as possible (she knew what her labours were like – fast). Reuben got out of the shower and got Eden in her seat for breakfast. Each contraction was getting stronger but Reuben needed to get a few things done yet like set up the bed. Between each contraction, I’d shout out some random thing that needed to be done – make the bed, turn up the hot water heater, turn up the thermostat… At 7:30 I shouted – page Genevieve (our midwife). Genevieve promptly returned the page. I gave her the lowdown on the morning so far. She was disappointed to tell me that she had to be at her dentist that morning in St. Catharines for a root canal and couldn’t be back until 11am. So she’d have to call our second midwife Kristin to come over and set up. She said Kristin would be there in an hour and to start filling up the tub. My mom soon arrived and swept Eden away to get dressed and play. Eden was happy to see Gramma. We had explained to her that the baby was on the way out but she wasn’t too interested in that at the time – Gramma was here to play.

The contractions were so strong right now that I needed Reuben’s support through each one. Because of the strength of the first contractions, it was difficult at first to get my head around the fact that I was indeed in labour. The contractions were so painful and I was at first resistant that today was the day the baby would be born. I was using a lot of negative self-talk in my head which only made each contraction more difficult. As soon as I realized this, I started the positive self-talk. With each contraction I would convince myself I could make it through it. Just like with labour with Eden, I pictured colours through each contraction. Reuben would apply pressure to my lower back. With some contractions I couldn’t focus on colours, I looked at the teacups on our mantel and the pictures of the people on them and envisioned a story around that person. At about 8:00am, Kristin arrived. She started setting up upstairs. Soon she was ready to check my dilation. She said by how fast my contractions were coming and my coping through the contractions, she thought the baby would be here soon. I still couldn’t comprehend how soon soon was and just didn’t realize how far along I was. I had only been in labour for one hour however it looked like I was in transition already. I was 9 cm dilated and Kristin said it was pretty much the waters that were still intact that were holding the baby in. She asked if I wanted to go in the tub and I said I’d try it – I’d try anything to try to cope with the pain. The water didn’t seem to help. I was definitely in transition at this time as the contractions didn’t seem to subside at all – they just ebbed and flowed. Elizabeth, our third midwife, arrived at 8:30. At about this time, I felt the urge to push. Kristin said to me – if you feel the urge to push, just push. So the following contraction got strong, I pushed as hard as I could. I suddenly felt a burst of warmness around me in the tub and thought my water broke. I looked at the water and there were floaties of stuff in it – wasn’t murky or brown or anything but the waters had broken. I wanted to get out of the water and deliver the baby on the bed. I leaned against Reuben intending to get out but suddenly the contraction got very strong and I pushed with all my might. I was also screaming quite loudly at this time. I felt a sudden “pop” and said – “what was that? I felt something” and Kristin replied – “it’s the baby’s head”. I was shocked. I guess I hadn’t realized I was that close to giving birth yet. I knew I was only one push away. I pushed hard and the baby slipped out and suddenly the pain was gone. Kristin handed the baby to me through my legs. I remember her saying something like, “Here, take him or her” and realized that I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. I reached under and saw the head and pulled the baby towards me and it was a boy! It was so exciting to meet this little one. I was still standing in the water, now holding my baby close. I just stood there admiring this little purple creature.

Elizabeth and Reuben and Kristin helped me out of the tub while holding the baby. We made it to the bed where I laid down. Elizabeth helped me pull my bathing suit top off and put the baby on my chest with warm towels and blankets on top. I just stared at him and then called him Harper – the name we had picked for a boy. It felt right for him. He stared quietly back at me – wide eyed and getting pinker. Kristin was taking care of me – examining where I needed stitches as I tore a little and preparing for the delivery of the placenta. Elizabeth kept warming new towels, getting me and Harper dry and warm. Reuben stood back in amazement, cuddled as close as he could to us. He also grabbed the camera and started taking pictures. I was laying on the end of the bed and he was able to climb behind me to get some great shots.

We heard the door open downstairs and it was my mom and Eden. Reuben went to go tell them that the baby had come out! Eden said to him, “baby come out now? My hold it?” with her arms outstretched. He asked them to wait a little bit until I had been stitched up.

Reuben cut the chewy umbilical cord. When Harper was warmer, we laid him beside me and Elizabeth completed the newborn checkup. This was when we first heard his cry. He didn’t want to be taken away. She measured and weighed him – 21 inches long, head circumference of 14 ½ inches and he weighed in at 9 lbs! After checking him out, she gave him back to me. His temperature was a little low so more warm blankets were placed on him and me as I delivered the placenta and Kristin finished the stitches, I think about 4 stitches or so were necessary.

Kristin and Elizabeth helped me to the bathroom to clean up as Reuben took off the sheets and plastic on the bed so I could lay on some nice clean sheets. As soon as we were settled in the bed, clean dry and covered, then my mom and Eden came in to meet Harper. Eden stood back quite quiet as she looked the baby over. I wish I knew what was going through her head at the time. We got her a little “midwife” kit with a stethoscope and other medical items and she was way more enthused with that than spending time with the baby.

The rest of the day was spent curled up in bed relaxing and bonding and taking phone calls and visits from family.

Some reflections:
- it was great having a baby in the morning. I had a great night’s sleep the night before and had all day to rest and greet visitors and bond with the new little one before the interrupted nights of sleep began
- I think the home birth helped Eden with the transition of Harper to the family. She never had to suddenly have me leave on her and then be gone for a day or two only to have me return with a baby. It felt so normal and so relaxed and so comfortable.
- I’m so glad I went into labour while reuben was home. The week prior, I had called Reuben home from work one day thinking I was in labour but it turned out I wasn’t. I would have second guessed calling him and then with his commute from work to home – it could have been possible that he missed the birth of his son. So thankful that that didn’t happen
- We really wish our first midwife Genevieve could have been there for the birth and she wishes she could have too. She’s an amazing woman who is so easy and comfortable to be around and makes a great midwife. For our follow up appointments with Harper, she has been so good about including Eden – I think it’s been another great help for Eden to adjust to Harper as her brother.
- Eden’s transition to being a big sister has been pretty good. The first week was a little rough as, being a 2 year old, she doesn’t know how to express her emotions. So she’d often just get very upset and emotional over something very trivial. She also would tell me to put the baby down or she’d grab my hands and hold them when I would be trying to do something with Harper. This week, she’s really showing an interest in seeing and holding Harper. She read him a story today and sang him some songs. She calls him “little guy” and “that baby” more than she calls him Harper.

And now for some pictures:

Genevieve and Eden checking their babies:

I hope to post soon about our visit from Nana and Papa!