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1 year

1 year

On one hand, this past year has gone by so quickly. There have been so many things I’ve wanted to get done that I just haven’t done; so many people I wanted to visit but didn’t; so many things I wanted to write, but forgot. On the other hand, this last year feels like forever. There have been so many events that have left deep imprints on my memory, so many experiences that I never imagined myself going through, so many tears and smiles and laughs that my heart breaks when I remember them.

One year ago right now, I was leaning against our mantel in our living room, breathing deeply, thinking intensely about colours – turquoise, butter yellow, burnt orange, – as I laboured through contractions, 5 minutes apart. And now, our little girl is 1 year old, sleeping soundly in her crib.

Birthdays have never really meant too much to me, my own or someone else’s. Just another day. But today that changed. Today my mind was flushed with vivid memories many times over of Eden’s birth… the pain of the labour, the excitement touching the top of her head, the energy as I pushed, the look on Reuben’s face when he first held Eden, the softness of her skin on mine, the comfort from my midwives, Eden’s purple bruised head from her brow position… I hope this memory never fades but I’ve wrote every detail in a journal just in case it does.

And now, Eden is 12 months old. She walks and giggles, mimics and manipulates. She is a silly, happy, calm and contented little toddler. My love for her grows every single day.

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I love you so much, Eden!

7 responses to “1 year”

  1. Ok so I got teary eyed there. Your post definately touched me considering I just ahd a baby not to long ago.. Eden is such a blessing and We just wish we were closer but none the less she means a lot to us. Thank you for posting.. sorry we didnt call.. Marley kept me up most the night so I was sleeping most the day when I could. Hope she had a wonderful birthday… love you Eden!

  2. we love you, eden! you are such a miracle! i type through tears of my own, thinking of our girls, the passage of time, the things we learn, and how they imprint our hearts and lives forever–and grow so quickly.

  3. happy birthday eden

  4. Thank you Heidi, for such an eloquent tribute to motherhood! You make all of us moms feel honoured! I still remember the crown of your head and the overwhelming sensation that one day (far in the future?!) you would share my experiences as a mother. I LOVE youEden and Eden’s mom!

  5. You have one beautiful little girl. Every time I look at pictures of her on your blog I think she can’t possibly get any cuter, but she always does. I have yet to meet her in person, so we really should arrange for that sometime when we’re both in the Des Moines area. I hope all is well with you!

  6. wow that was beautiful

  7. Beautiful, Heidi!! I can’t believe Eden is 1. Another mom warned me about all the emotions and thoughts that flood your heart and mind on your child’s first birthday. You so eloquently shared your heart. Thanks! :)

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